10 years, and then some

You know that feeling you get right before you about to get sick? That feeling that lets you know it's coming in a big, bad way? The achey body and aching lower back. That feeling you get in the back of your throat and the itch you get in your ears that you cannot make go away no matter how hard you try to scratch it?

Yeah, I've felt like that for over a week now. So what gives? I have two theories: One, is if I just keep going the cold/flu won't catch up to me and two, just throw myself down on the couch, drink a bottle of Ny*quil and to wake up after the cold/flu has left my body.

Not sure what to do yet. I'll keep you posted.

In other news - Today is the start of hell week. I should seriously be studying for the 3 exams, 1 CPE (skills test) and 16 hours worth of clinicals I have this week....but my motivation has not shown it's head since last Thursday. Next week doesn't get much better as I have 12 hour clinicals Thurs and Sat with 3 days of classes inbetween, an online lecture (3 hours), recitation and an exam. Oh yeah, and Saturday is Halloween! I have apples and caramel ready to go, but haven't gotten a chance to actually make the caramel apples yet. sigh.

I'm really not whining or even complaining. I love nursing school. I really do. I cannot believe how much stuff is already crammed into my brain. I cannot believe how challenging it is and what's more - I love that it's so challenging. I've met some really amazing people in class and am looking forward to working with them in clinicals and celebrating with them when we graduate. I never thought I'd get back to school to finish what I started 15 years ago. I feel very fortunate for the opportunity and the chance to prove to myself that I can finish what I started. I am truly my own worst enemy when it comes to competition. Always trying to one up myself. I have issues. I won't even try to deny it.

Friday - Oct. 23, 2009. 10 years ago to the day 2 crazy in-love kids ran off to get married. First we tried Nevada, not realizing you need a license first. Oh well, we hit Star*bucks and drove all the way back home. But we didn't let it phase us. We were determined to elope and have a great story to someday tell our kids and grand kids. A good friend married us at a local park instead. It was late, it was almost dark and we had to hurry so as to not get run off for being in the park after hours. And the rest, as they say, is history. 10 years. 5 kids. 2 dogs. 5 moves (one of which was to a new state). 2 remodels. 2 degrees (soon to be 3!). Laughs. Tears (ok, SOBS!). Near misses. Inadequacies. Trust. Always love. Always us. It always comes down to us. I can't believe we fit it all in to just 10 years.

I am a terrible blogger. When and how did life get so busy? In a nutshell:

Peanut got the flu.
Little D got the flu.
I'm desperately trying not to get the flu.
We went for a Sunday afternoon coffee and came home with a new puppy.
Her name is Lola. She's a mini-schnauzer and adorable (of course I'm singing copa-cabana all the time now..."Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl...").
I passed my med dosing CPE today!
I rewarded my efforts with a pumpkin spice latte.
I start clinicals next week.
Halloween is right around the corner.

See what I mean? - BIZEE!!!

I'm back in school - need I say more?

Just one thing - go check out this picture and then check out awkwardfamilyphotos.com when you need a good laugh. My sides still hurt and I'm quite certain some of those photos are of my family.

In limbo

My two oldest have been in Idaho visiting family for almost a month now. They get back this week and not a moment too soon either. An entire month of being my youngest two kids sole source of entertainment was a task I wasn't entirely prepared for. They desperately miss their older siblings and this mom has run out of fun things to do in her supposedly bottomless bag of tricks.

School starts one week from today and we are soooo ready. The kids head back and then I have one week before I head back. I hope to gather myself back together, get a few small projects done, drink a little extra coffee and lounge in my pj's a little bit longer. This will prove to be our busiest fall yet with every child at a different school and myself in nursing school including 12 hour clinicals every week. My husband got a promotion which will bring big job changes his way but hopefully less stress and drive time, so that will be very helpful. If we can just make it through the semester we will be rewarded with a trip home to Idaho for Christmas with the fam!

Sooooo what have we been up to this summer? Thanks for asking - I spent 10 weeks in school and managed to pull a B+ and an A. Not too shabby, especially considering the A is in Pathophysiology. The kids have been swimming, swimming and swimming. We did manage to camp - in our living room. Seriously, we set up our condo sized tent and camped out. We got the kids flash lights and went on a walk after dark. We bbq'd and ate outside. Then we donned our pj's and camped out in the tent while eating snacks and watching a movie. And might I say - BEST CAMP OUT EVER! We took the youngest two fishing at a state park, and that was a lot of fun. Didn't catch a thing, but the kids had a blast.

And finally, my major accomplishment was the amount of scrapbooking I did. I had the brilliant idea that all my kids needed their own albums plus I needed a family one. I kept that up until 4 years ago. My oldest three each have about 4 albums now and I decided that was plenty. The younger two need a few more years of photos before I call it done on theirs and then just stick with our family albums. I figure when I'm gone, they can divy them up however they choose. Any-who, I have Little D's, Cassidy and our family album almost through 2007. Considering I was 4 years behind, and now I'm only down about 18 mos - I'm pretty happy with it.

What else....I fertilized the lawn and have been mowing it like a mad woman ever since. Stupid fertilizer. But the lawn looks the best it ever has. Oh, and of course there's P90X. Great program. I was skeptical, but wanted to give it a try. I even gave up running so I could do it. It's been awesome! Dave and I get to spend a little extra time together doing something we love and we get out butts kicked at the same time. Try it - you'll love it.

I know - post pics. I will. But first I have bedrooms to clean and school supplies to sort. Then onto pictures. Well, except this one. My SIL threw the best Hawaiian birthday bash and we limbo-ed late into the night and had way too much fun. So much fun that we skipped church the next morning. The limbo will do that to you. But I'm pretty sure God was laughing right along with us. I almost won, except my cousins girlfriend is apparently the child of gumby.

Read this -

http://jeremy-amuse.blogspot.com/2009/07/answer-man.html

This hit me because I have been struggling with some of these same thoughts. When things go my way I have a tendency to think, "boy, I must be walking right where God wants me." But what about when things don't go my way? Of course I think I must be doing something wrong when in fact it's in those times God is really doing His work on me and in my life. It's not always pleasant (understatement) and it's definitely not always what I want - but in the end I'm the one proven wrong and He is always the One that knows best. And thankfully, He is always watching out for me because who knows where I'd be if I were left to my own vices.

Some of my fav's

Just a few of my fav's.

This summer has been crazy due to my school schedule. I'm on campus 3 days a week and then some for studying and open-lab. Even when I'm home I'm not really home, you know? So although school is hard, it's the "not being here even when I'm here" that is stressing me out. The summer is flying by and the kids are growing and time is against me these days.

I was not prepared to feel this way at this stage in life. I don't know how to explain it but it's so very different from the way I felt when my kids were all little. I guess the best way to express it is that it just feels so odd to be parenting someone that is taller than I am. It seems to be this constant juggling act of being mom and being a friend and somewhat of a mentor. Above all I am mom, but the relationship is so different from that of a little kid and a mom and that of a highschooler and a mom. It's not bad. I really have good kids. They don't get into trouble. They do well in school. Perhaps it's just because as they get older it makes me realize that I am getting older too? I just don't know.

Anyhow. It's Monday. It's a beautiful day. I don't have to be on campus. I recieved a pell grant that I was not expecting - always a fabulous thing! I do have to study for an exam that I have at 9 am tomorrow, but I think that will have to happen pool side. I want some sun. I want to watch my kids laughing. I want to see their faces after wearing goggles for 2 hours. I want to see green and orange stained fingers and lips due to popsicles. I want to come home from the pool and watch as a pile of towels and suits stacks up on my laundry room floor followed by empty tubes of sunscreen and half blown up pool toys and then look over to see tired, happy kids sprawled out on the floor watching a movie.

I never planned on life being a fairy tale but does it always have to be this hard?

I don't want to be an adult anymore.
I want someone to tell me I have to take a nap every day.
I want someone to make me dinner for a change.
I want to get an ice cream cone and have it truly make everything better.
I want my only worry to be about whether or not I get to stay up past my bed time.

sigh